livin'

an update...only months later...sorry aboot that!

2007-12-03T20:41:00.000-08:00

soooooooooooo, i've been home now for 3 successful months! it has been really good, of course, with it's ups and downs, but for the most part i've been happy being here. i know part of the contentedness and joy comes from being in a place i'm confident that i'm supposed to be in for right now, and having a purpose and goal i'm working towards.

it worked out for me to be in toronto for 10 days,over canadian thanksgiving. that was a lot of fun. i really didn't think it would work out, but my job was starting on the 15th of october and so the timing was perfect. i flew out a couple days before my mom & dad, and flew home a couple days before them. i got to see my extended family whom i haven't seen in a very long time, as well as my grandma who has alzheimers. it was difficult to see her, but so wonderful at the same time.

i'm currently working at costco. i'll admit, at first i hated it. looking back on it, i think it was just a case of the "first-couple-of-weeks-reluctance" or something. these days, i actually enjoy myself, have made some really fun friends and am making really decent money, which i can NOT complain about.

i'm totally enjoying being home for the christmas season in it's entirety rather than one mad rush of a visit right before i'm about to embark on a two month trip overseas. it's way more relaxed and we put the tree up almost a month ago already since the last couple of years i've only gotten one week to enjoy it.

it's definitely weird to not live in a community or with my friends for that matter. i've spent way more time alone in the past 3 months than i spent in over 2 years in seattle. sometimes that's not my favorite, other times i quite enjoy my alone time. it won't always be this way anyways..

i start my first class this january at the university of winnipeg with the plan to attend Ryerson U. in Toronto for their 4 year midwifery program. i'm stoked to go back to school - i can hardly wait!

so that's the 411 on my life in winnipeg - OH WAIT, did i mention that i'm TOTALLY loving the frigid manitoba winter? oh yes....i love the snow, i love hockey games, i love the cold, i love putting on my snow pants and being outside and i love the fact that i can drive in this kind of weather; a talent & ability that hopefully most of us manitobans have bragging rights to!!

i'm really quite happy. learning still. thinking a lot. hoping to grow more.

peace & love
amanda xo

back in Peg City!!

2007-09-11T20:38:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone....

maybe you've been wondering if i'm home now...and if so, how i'm doing. maybe you haven't been wondering. either way, you're going to find out..

well, so far so good. last wednesday was a tearful day. the ywam staff had a goodbye breakfast for me before my friends julie, bubba drove me up to vancouver so i could catch my flight. they spoke some really nice things to me and prayed for me. it was pretty emotional for me. saying goodbye to like 15 people at the same time is a sad ordeal. especially 15 people that have been in your every day life solid for the past 2 years.

home has been good, but i am quite eager to get a job and not sit around for too much longer. i've barely been here a week, but i'm ready to get started. well yes, home has been good, good but lonely. i'm used to living in community and now everything has become so silent and i've spent a lot of days alone. the suburbs are quiet. my house is quiet. i'm feeling desperate for some NOISE!! i'd even welcome drunk university students running the streets at 2 in the morning. you definitely have a city girl on your hands.

if anyone has any great ideas for jobs feel free to email me (amandasdawn@gmail.com). my plan is to start school in january at UW. i like to call it "u-dub". does anyone actually call it that in winnipeg? the reason (if you're wondering) that i call it that is because i lived in the university district of seattle, a literal 5 minute walk from my front door to the "U-DUB", aka, University of Washington. but everyone just calls it "u-dub" and it's a lot easier than saying "u of w". yeah, so that's that.

my emotions are back and forth, but even in my sadness to be away from seattle, i am sincerely looking forward to what this next couple of years in winnipeg will bring. i went out with some good friends tonight for dinner and talked to my great friend amy on the phone today...all these moments make me so happy. i'm really thankful for God's grace in this time. it could have been a lot more difficult without Him.

sooooo, here i go. i'm gunna giv'er!

peace & luv.

winnipeg in 3 days. WHAT!?

2007-09-02T18:09:00.001-07:00

figured i should write something. not sure what to write though. my emotions aren't really one way or another. i have moments of tearing up. i have moments of anticipating what life will be like when i'm back. transition is interesting. sometimes scary. sometimes great.

two of my friends have had their babies. they are both beautiful and healthy little girls. actually, they had them the same day about an hour apart. pretty crazy. i can't get enough of their little fingers and toes. and the newborn baby smell.

here are some random thoughts:

- not very happy because my macbook has a crack in the screen and they want me to pay $750 to get it fixed. excuse me while that is almost how much my computer ITSELF costed. how can anyone charge that much to fix the SCREEN!? hopefully insurance will help me out. i'll give an update soon.
- i will miss many restaurants and all the access to glorious organic food
- how am i going to go to school? YIKES! i haven't gone in like 8 yrs.
- my friends....my family here....goodbye = SAD.
- winnipeg - yay! SNOW...... no thank you.
- seattle is the best city in the world...why the HECK am i leaving? oh.....it's okay i can visit.
- jamba juice really needs to come to canada
- again - snow...no thank you.
- happy to see my friends & family in the Peg
- thankful for all the people in my life both far and near
- here i come "real canadian superstore"
- canadians slurpees......finally finally finally!

these are some of the things roaming the long windy roads in my brain. i'm doing good though. i'm ready for this. but a mix of emotions as well......not that i can articulate them too well.

that's all for the moment. more to come soon, i'm sure.

love to you all.

BABIES ON THE BRAIN

2007-08-20T13:54:00.001-07:00

Now don't get all freaked out - I'm not pregnant or planning to be anytime soon. =) But, I can still have babies on the brain and pregnant women.

1. I have 3 friends all due within the next couple of weeks or so.
2. I'm reading this incredible book called "Baby Catcher"
3. My plan is to go to school so that I can one day be a midwive and "catch babies" myself.
4. I'm completely fascinated by pregnancy & natural birth (if that isn't already apparent)

How did this happen to me? The really crazy part is that when I was but a wee one, I told my Mom that when I grew up I wanted to be a "baby doctor". Later, in the miserable years of Junior High, I had to put one of those dumb quotes in my 9th grade yearbook, and because I had no CLUE what I wanted to be, I said I wanted to be a pediatrician. Then I went off galavanting across this earth loving people and different cultures and really had no idea where I was headed. I knew I wanted to go to school one day. I also knew that I wouldn't step a toenail into University or College unless I was sure I had a reason to be there.

In the meantime I met one of my most dear friends ever. Her name is Mel. She lives here in Seattle with her husband Ben & their 4 year old (and coolest kid ever) Jaya. She just recently graduated from Seattle Midwifery School & has plans to start her own practice with another Midwife friend of hers with a primary focus on Somali women. From spending countless hours with her and asking questions and just hearing her talk I found myself thinking quite seriously about both Midwifery as a whole and the idea of myself being one.

Last week Mel asked me to join her for her prenatal appointment (she's one of the 3 friends due in the next couple of weeks). I enjoyed every minute of it (even when some of those minutes I had no idea what they were talking about...big words flying over my head left, right & center). Her midwife was very excited that I want to be a midwife too & let me do everything she did. So, I got to measure her uterus, feel the baby's position and listen to the baby's heartbeat. I tried like 10 different instruments to hear the heart....and eventually heard it loud and clear and it was a sound I can't wait to hear over and over again.

That appointment sealed the deal. I've never wanted to do something so bad! In fact, later that day I was downtown Seattle and I saw a very pregnant lady and it was all I could do to stop myself from asking her if I could measure her uterus. haha. Um....yeah, calm down Amanda. I've heard "patience is a virtue" - and one that I'm in desperate need of.

It's going to be a very interesting next few years, but I welcome it with very open arms.

.peace & love.

i will miss this

2007-08-10T21:03:00.000-07:00

lately my friends (who live in my house) and i have been hosting dinner for whoever wants to come. we call it "family dinner" or "community dinner" and invite our friends and then they invite their friends, and sometimes totally random people show up. i think it's super cool. i've made new friends in the u-district (where i live in seattle). we had one last night, and my friend Lucas and i made dinner.

the people who come are from all walks of life. it reminds me of something Jesus did....it reminds me of how Jesus didn't surround himself with "believers" alone. people are able to come as they are and they're offered a place of acceptance, laughter, new friends and good food.

i'm really sad that i won't be here for many more. *sigh* - just one of the many things i will miss when i leave seattle.

an update:

2007-08-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

First of all, THANK YOU to everyone who reads this blog! Seriously, I had quite a few responses to the last blog I posted. So just to let you know, some really good people that I've known for a long time happen to be in Abbotsford, BC for their sons (and my good friend) wedding and have offered to take a bunch of my boxes home to Winnipeg with them!
I will be flying home the first week of September (I'll find out the date tonight when I book my flight). I'm really looking forward to it though I'm enjoying my last few weeks here in Seattle. Yes, it will be sad to leave, but I feel ready for the next season of my life. :)

Also, many of you have been asking me what life will look like for me once back in Canada; what my plans are, etc. It is a little bit scary to voice my plans so publicly, only because...well honestly, the fear that I'll change my mind and you'll all think I'm crazy. haha. No, I've actually come up with a plan that I feel really confident about and excited to pursue.

Well, I guess the obvious is that once home I'll try to find a job (oh what fun) and when January rollls around my hope is to start school. Haven't decided where yet - I'm between Red River & UW. Anyways, I really want to be a Midwife, and my very tentative plan as of now is to attend SMS (Seattle Midwifery School) once done my first year of school. Of course, some of this is subject to change since by the time I'm done my prereqs 2 years or something like this will have gone by. But, that's at least the general direction I'm headed. I've never had a 5 year plan before and it feels very.....hmmm.....strange. Strange, yet great!

That's the long & short of it.

Miss you all....email me, call me, write me, etc. I'd love to hear from you!
Peace & Love.

the long road home...

2007-08-02T20:11:00.000-07:00

I am moving back to Winnipeg sometime the first week of September. However...I've been racking my brain trying to figure out how to get myself and all my stuff from two years of living here, home. I am posting this blog to ask for any IDEAS or HELP any of you clever folk out there might be willing to give.

So, this is short and sweet and simple. Please, if you have any idea, or connections (cheap car rentals, etc) let me know. Any help you could give is greatly appreciated.

As I write this I am sitting on the floor of my bedroom with piles of stuff surrounding me feeling a little bit overwhelmed. Yuck.

much love,
manda :)

something else to read

2007-07-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

I guess I haven't yet blogged about what's going on at our YWAM Seattle base this year. I want to encourage you to read my good friends, Zach & Amanda Rupp's (aka: DTS Leaders here in Seattle) blog. They talk a little bit about what we had been up to and the direction we're going as a base.

I'll go ahead and write a bit more about that in the coming week.

If you are interested, please click HERE It's entitled "what's new (the facts accoring to Zach)".

peace.

.FOR LENNY.

2007-07-24T23:54:00.001-07:00

Right now I'm staffing MISSION ADVENTURES. Last night I was out doing street ministry with the team that is here from L.A. We went downtown to share lemonade and hot chocolate and conversation with the people we meet.

We ended up in Occidental Park (for a panoramic view of this, click HERE). Sitting near the fallen firefighters memorial were a bunch of people hanging out, people who have no homes.....they might be called "homeless". Only, sometimes I get tired of labelling them that, because they are, after all, people with a story, like you and I. Anyways, moving on...

Let me tell you about Lenny. I met him last night. My guess is he's in his 60's. I asked him if he would like some lemonade, he said he did. I handed him some and asked how his night was going. He told me it wasn't going well due to a very bad hangover, and his total frustration at himself because he had been doing so good saving his money and not drinking. But once he gets a beer in him, it's pretty much the downward spiral.
Lenny is an alcoholic. I asked him what it's like for him when he drinks, what pressures he's relieved from temporarily and what he is like when drunk. This man was very gentle and sad, so I couldn't imagine him being violent, which turned out to be right, according to Lenny. He said he sings and laughs and in general just feels happy and forgets about how messed up his life is.
Lenny and I are both only children. We talked about that....he said at one point that all his life he was told he was a spoiled brat (this is typical phrase you hear if an only child....it's total ignorance) and sometimes now he wonders if all the crap that has happened to him is deserved because maybe all he amounts to is simply a "spoiled brat". Or perhaps he just a weakling and he's simply too weak to "do life". I had to stop him from saying this about himself -I could feel myself tearing up.
Lenny feels defeated and scared. He's afraid to pray or have faith because whenever he has prayed in the past, crazy bad things have happened to him and people he's cared about. He feels as though Satan has more power than God because Satan has done more damage in his life than God has done good.
He says "it's a really scary thing when you have no faith at all....not even faith in yourself".
The passage that says "hope deferred makes the heart sick" came to my mind. I see Lenny in those words a thousand times over.
He wants to go to treatment, but says he's been in so many and it's never worked. Still, he says "I gotta get myself into treatment".
He wonders if he's crazy in the head. I personally think he's simply addicted and has believed so many lies that they now represent truth in his head. He says he's had mental evaluations and the doctors have told him he's mentally sound.
I asked him if he's ever been told that he was important or loved. He said he had lots when he was young. He was a star athlete and people loved him for that. But he's never had a wife, he said "there must be something wrong with me to have never had a wife". He told me about how children love him, but in these days kids can't just run over to anybody and talk because there are too many nutcases out and about....so since there are no children he's free to enjoy being around he likes animals. Animals don't judge us, only love us, and people won't look down their noses in suspicion if he's patting his dog as opposed to innocently playing with a child.
Lenny is lonely. I would let him play with my kids. He has a very kind heart.
I told him him I was glad he was alive and I had hope for him even if he didn't have hope for himself. I asked if it was okay that I pray for him whenever he comes to mind. He told me he felt a little bit scared, but would let me. I hope I see him again tonight.

Please PRAY for Lenny. He is caught in this horrible cycle and knows it. It doesn't have to stay this way. I know he needs God, but the only way he's going to find that God is gracious and patient and not a horrible mean judge waiting to strip him of his hope for eternity is if that's the way I treat him...and others who represent a loving Christ. Unfortunately, because he's "homeless" most people pretend they don't even see him when they walk by. I used to be one of these people, so I'm no hero. But I was reminded once again last night, that these people have names, and God knows them, and so should I. I am humbled by the great love of God....why do I forget who my God is so often?

DISPLACE ME AFTERMATH

2007-07-19T18:21:00.000-07:00

Remember a couple months back when I volunteered with Invisible Children to staff the "Displace Me" event? Well, if not, I blogged about it and the blog was titled: "I slept in a cardboard box".

Anyways, during our stay in our cardboard box homes on April 28th-29th there were many video cameras out and this video posted below shows the event in all 15 cities across the US.

CHECK IT OUT:

HAPPY BELATED...

2007-07-13T01:46:00.000-07:00

CANADA DAY!

I don't know these children.....but they sure look like they're proud to be canadian, eh?
I spent Canada day in the US (this seems to happen quite a lot for me) with many Americans, but don't worry, there were quite a few Canadians in the mix. We had a big BBQ at my friends house (one of which is orignally from Manitoba). It was a double party...the first half was for my friend Mel who recently graduated as a Midwife!!! YAY MEL!! and to give her daughter Jaya a good send off to pre-school. YAY JAYA!!! As that party wound down the Canadian beach balls, food, umbrellas, literally anything that had a flag on it or was from Canada, appeared in the yard. It was a really fun day and I felt proud to be a Canadian and to celebrate with people I love so much.

4th OF JULY!

this picture really is from 4th of July @ Gasworks park in Seattle 2007
3 days later I had the opportunity to celebrate "Independance Day" (though no one really says "happy independance day") aka 4th of July. The week of parties - yay for me! My friends and I grilled on our porch and then joined the happy throng of people walking to Gasworks Park to enjoy an evening of elephant ears, fireworks, music, and hyped up patriotism (which you don't really experience in Seattle much). This was my 2nd time going to Gasworks for the fireworks and I have to say - I LOVE IT! My favourite part of the whole night (aside from the fireworks) is when the military chopper flies around the entire park flying the flag below it to Ray Charles singing his rendition of "America, America" (i don't even know if that's the actual title of the song...). It was quite the ironic experience. As I stated above, Seattle wouldn't be the top most "patriotic" city in the Nation.

7-11-07!

mmm
You might be wondering what this is all about, though perhaps some of you already know. Well, they give away free slurpees on 7-11-07. How great is that!? They were really small....but that's okay because there are LOTS of 7-11's, so you can just go from one to another all day and get lots! And it happened to be the perfect day because it was approx. 97 degrees in Seattle that day (we broke records & apparently made the news....maybe you saw it?) and we were all melting away into puddles of people - no good. Did God work that out? I don't know. But thank you God anyways..mmm...not for the heat wave, for free slurpee day on heat wave day.

DTS 05-06 REUNION!!

me, david harris, chrissie
The night I returned back to Seattle from my 3 weeks in Winnipeg I was surprised to find 3 of the students from the DTS I staffed a year ago here. Not the one that just finished this March, the year before that. The next morning I woke up and saw that there were 3 more here....by the next day there were 15 of the 21 students that made up the 05/06 DTS here in Seattle. They came from all over the US, Ireland & England. They came for the wedding of Mike & Brittany, 2 people who did their DTS that year as well, fell in love and well....got married.
It was so great to see everyone again, spend time with them, and find out what has been happening in their lives post DTS. If any of y'all are reading this - I love you and hope to hang out again very soon!

also....HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY....to no one specific and yet specific at the same time. I'm sure there have been birthday's happening that I was unaware of and while this is a "HAPPY BELATED" blog, I figured it's safe to wish someone out there a Happy Belated Birthday!

This was a very unspiritual blog and doesn't tell you how I'm doing personally, but more what's been going on. Of course, as I'm staffing the Mission Adventures program right now, there is a lot more I could say but I'll save that for later. Also, it doesn't fall under the 'happy belated" category.....

Peace and love my friends,
amanda

rest. peace. kindness. transition. love.

2007-06-30T00:39:00.000-07:00

Oh heeeeeey guys!

Well, I'm not sure I've been good at keeping you updated on my Winnipeg adventures the past 3 weeks, so here goes....

REST. I have had much rest and it was exactly what I needed. Interestingly enough, only a month ago I was having a hard time knowing exactly what it was that I was in need of. After 3 weeks of spending some solid time with friends and family, eating good food, relaxing in the sun, reading good books, listening to good music, going to the annual "red river exhibition", and trying my hand at a round of golf....I see how desperately in need of a break I was. I am returning to Seattle at rest in my physical body, but more importantly, rested in my heart & mind.

PEACE. If you've been reading my blog lately, you will know that I had been going in the direction of an R-1 Visa (which would allow me to be in the US for a longer period of time) and planning on staying in Seattle for the next few years at least. I was feeling much anxiety about this, mostly because in my lengthy experience with INS, I've found them to be quite inconsistant and unpredictable. So my anxiety was mostly due to thinking about actually attaining this visa, and not the staying-in- seattle-for-a-long-time-part. I love Seattle and would love to be able to call it my home....

During my first week in Winnipeg I experienced a lot of rest along with a sense of something I could only describe to people as "relief". I was somewhat surprised at this feeling...so I started allowing myself to explore this feeling. As it turns out, I came to a conclusion, one that quietly slipped in the back door so to speak. It wasn't forced on me, it wasn't even suggested to me...I just sort of gave myself the freedom to think it and talk to God aobut it and it felt healthy, right, and I felt peaceful about it. I decided to finish out the summer program in Seattle and return to Canada at the end of this August.

KINDNESS. Mine & Yours. Yes, I am learning the importance of being kind to myself, being aware of my needs and pursue the issues and desires that God has been stirring in me the past couple of years. Some of these things are more easy to define while some are still unclear and in need of more definition.
The nature of what I have been doing the past years has caused me to rely greatly on the kindness and generosity of many others. I could not and can not do what I've been doing without help of some kind, be it prayer, words of encouragement, or support through finances.
I want to give a HUGE thank you to all those who have given much to me the past years and in the same respect voice my need of your continued love, prayers, & support in the next 2 months in Seattle and the months ahead upon my leaving. TRANSITION is always a bit of hard work...and many times, tears. I know there will be times when I need the reminder that I'm not alone and that I have nothing to fear. Practically, I am asking those of you who read this blog to consider helping me out financially for the next 2 months. I would like to finish of strong and most importantly, I do not want to leave Seattle in any kind of debt!

LOVE. Much of it to all of you who read this blog...and please continue to. Just because I'm "leaving Seattle" in the fall, does not mean I will not continue to blog my thoughts about this next season of life.

I have lots more to say which means, more to come soon... :)

the slurpee 411

2007-06-12T20:47:00.000-07:00

I've been drinking slurpees since I was a young girl & have always been a little bit wide-eyed over them. I still am, but the slurpees in the U.S are one huge letdown. In case you've ever found yourself wondering what their slurpees are like, I'm going to go ahead and assure you that they are 100% incomparable to what Canada has to offer!

For me, it's all about the texture. What I've found with the U.S version of slurpees is that they are light & airy. Why? I think they're carbonated. I'm pretty sure Canada's aren't. Now, I'm no expert, so I could be wrong on both accounts, but there is defintely a HUGE difference between the two.

I've had 4 slurpees in my first week on Canadian soil....and since it's been both hot & humid, they've been thoroughly enjoyed!

random thoughts & things

2007-05-31T16:53:00.000-07:00

it's thursday afternoon - late afternoon. i am sitting in my room at the moment with a fan blowing a nice breeze on me. it's been quite hot over here the past 2 days. feels like it came out of nowhere.....not that i'm complaining. it's really nice.

i spent most of this morning in meetings. again, i can't complain because they were meetings with people that i both work with and love being around. there was some sort of sewage backup in our YWAM office so it was ridiculously hot (the heat was on to help dry the carpet?) and smelled pretty awful - so we all congregated at the coffee shop across the street - world cup - where the staff are very well acquainted with us. at one point there were 8 of us in there....

i had a 16 oz. decalf, iced white mocha, with peppermint & made with soy. in case you've found yourself curious ;)

this weekend we have a staff retreat in bellingham, WA. looking forward to spending some solid time with all of us together.

this tuesday i drive to vancouver with some friends and fly home to winnipeg for a 3 week visit. yay!

last night my friend Mel & I skipped our last crew class and went to the olive garden -yummmmmmm- .... crew class has been a lot of fun, by the way. but last week Mel & I had a miserable time. the guy behind me kept hitting me in the back each time he'd row, the girl in front of me was rushing, no one in the entire boat was doing a very good job at setting the boat & the entire time i felt like i was going to fall in the lake! i think i might have given up on my dream of going to the olympics for crew. sad.

speaking of which, i've always had a secret dream of going to the olympics....only originally it was for swimming. when i was young, i was never allowed to pass RED in swimming because i insisted on holding my nose while underwater. i wasn't afraid of water, infact, i even relished each chance to jump in the deep end and tread water. still, i never passed dumb level RED!

i can swim underwater without holding my nose these days....
i still love crew.....
i still like to dream of going to the olympics...
i love iced white mochas w/ peppermint...

winnipeg: JUNE 5-26th

2007-05-13T19:55:00.000-07:00

That's right! I'll be coming home for a 3 week visit on the 5th of June! I'm looking forward to seeing as many of my friends and family as I can during my time there. I'm also looking forward to having some time to process the last 4 months of my life while sitting in the warm Winnipeg sun (i hope). Don't be shy - give me a call when I'm home. :)

Please keep me in your prayers - the coming home part will be a cinch, the returning to Seattle is making me feel a bit anxious as I will be applying for R-1 Visa Status. Over the past two years here, I have completely fallen in love with the culture, diversity, and community in this city. It has become my home and my desire is to continue doing ministry both here in Seattle and to the Nations. I am planning on staffing this upcoming fall DTS which is the midst of being lengthened from 5 months long to approximately 8 or 9 months long (I'll keep you updated on that).

also....the crew class i'm taking is going really well. No one has fallen in the water or gotten hit with an oar. We just got on the water yesterday (saturday). The rest of the classes will be rowing on Lake Union. Weeeee....

crew

2007-05-07T23:51:00.000-07:00

Tonight my friend Mel & I went to our first "Learn to Row" class! On Saturday morning we'll be rowing on Lake Union.....

I learned things like: sweep rowing, catch, erg, and that rowing is a "LEG" sport....not an "arm" sport.

stay tuned for more of my rowing endeavors.

goodnight.

i slept in a cardboard box.

2007-05-02T16:52:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, April 28th, myself and a few friends from YWAM Seattle joined our new friends touring with "Invisible Children" to help staff the "DISPLACE ME" event (I helped with registration). Displace Me was held in 15 cities throughout the US - and of the almost 68,000 people who showed up across the nation that night, Seattle had 5000!!!

Basically it was a bunch of people sleeping outside to simulate the IDP camps (Internal Displacement Camp) in Northern Uganda to protest the 21 year war that has not yet ended and bring political attention, awareness & most certainly, to bring AN END to those displaced for the last 10 years in Uganda. We built "homes" out of cardboard and by the evening there was a sea of cardboard at Seattles Magnuson Park. It was one of the craziest scenes I've witnessed and at the same time incredibly powerful. Also, it was a very chilly night. We were also given rations of H2O & saltines, the same way people would be rationed food within a displacement camp.

You might notice the red "X" on my shirt (below)...it was to symbolize our "displacement". There was also a sea of these and we took pictures of ourselves in them and sent them to senators demanding attention and peace for N. Uganda.

i am the 5th from the left in the above picture...check out the article written by following the link below.REAL CHANGE NEWS

EVERY WAR HAS AN END

CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO:

PERSEVERANCE: "steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success"

2007-04-18T17:13:00.000-07:00

So I've been thinking about this conversation I had with a friend earlier this week. We were talking about going through hard time in life and having a lot of decisions to make; things that anyone might be faced with. He told me that something he's been learning/thinking about is how often when faced with difficult times we (as christians) resort to praying it away. By that I mean, praying that God would "fix it", "take it away", "make it better", you get the idea.....but something he's been challenged to do is to, instead, pray that God would give him the strength to push through the hard times, live in the tension for a while, and find God in the midst of it. There is always something to be learned.
I feel like this is so true. We live in a world of quick fixes that don't really, in the end, fix anything. We seek immediate results and pill popping relief. How quickly we forget the things we've learned, character we've gained, and our relationship with God deepened by the times we've pushed through.
It's just something I've been thinking about a lot. I'd like to better at persevering.

DISPLACE ME

2007-04-16T21:34:00.000-07:00

i'm assuming most of you have had the opportunity to see the film, "Invisible Children" in the last year...if you haven't, please, please, PLEASE, check it out!

Last night one of the groups on the Invisible Children World Tour 2007 (Thirteen black vans, filled with teams of four, are driving an uprising across America for the next three and a half months. More than 1,300 high schools, universities, religious institutions, and other venues will see the “Invisible Children: Rough Cut” documentary and learn about the situation in Northern Uganda.) came and spoke to a group of us in Seattle and I decided to get more involved. (last year I was not able to attend the "global night commute" & I was quite sad) I went to a meeting tonight for volunteers for the upcoming, "Displace Me" and will be helping out for the event.

For more information on both Invisible Children and Displace Me your best bet is to visit their webiste(s) and not listen to me prattle on and on.....

I am super excited to be a part of this! I hope that wherever you are, you can find a way to be a part of it as well! It's not every day you can actually be a vital piece to seeing a war end. This war has been going on for 21 years now....it's time something changed.

life post dts

2007-04-05T15:10:00.000-07:00

....looks like i've been home a month today! africa now seems so far away and sometimes i have to stop and remind myself that i really was there. i had 2 weeks off after the students went home. it feels less wierd to be back and more wierd to think i was on the other side of the world for 2 months. it's good to be back, but of course, i miss our friends in zambia and also the students i went with.

last saturday i moved. it was a really big move....NEXT DOOR! i lived next door to the student house, officially nicknamed "the grey house", and now i live IN the grey house. see, our base is in the process of actually purchasing the grey house and looking for new staff housing as the town-house we were living up until last week had been a decent deal in the past but certainly hasn't been for a while. so we transferred our lease to the grey house and all moved over here. we will be here until august (as september a new group of students will need to move in for DTS) and at that time we will move into a new place. it's been really great. we love it....for now.

**important: my new address is 4303 8th Ave. NE, Seattle, WA, 98105**

right now we are hosting teams (youth groups, college groups) coming to Seattle for an urban ministry experience. i've been helping out with that - making meals, setting up at the church, etc. in a couple of months the Mission Adventures program will start and we'll be doing tons of team hosting and urban ministry. we don't have tons of staff lined up for the summer, so that's something to pray for on our behalf.

also, i'm in the place financially where i'd like to raise my support to at least $200USD more per month. i'm playing a bit of catch-up with my rent currently (not my favourite game to play...) which is leaving me with not a lot of extra money. it's good when my support covers my rent ($350/mth), but i still have all kinds of other living expenses after the rent is paid. i want to thank those of you who have both supported me and are supporting me in the way of finances. it has been both a source of encouragment and sustenance and i'm extremely thankful for you helping me be able to be happy, healthy, & productive both in seattle and overseas. if you would like to become a part of my support team, please email me and i can let you know how. thank you for considering this :)

it's beautiful in seattle today...the sky looks like this:
it's 67F (19C for you Canucks) outside!! I went for a nice run this afternoon to take advantage of the warm air not killing my lungs.

you know what i think? i think you should come to seattle...and i think you'd like it. i sure do.

Pictures as promised

2007-03-21T23:23:00.000-07:00

francesca & matthew. she is actually his aunty! we shared the farm with their family.

a market in Ndola. "no snaps". we got in trouble for taking this "snap"! oops.

we got to go to a Zambian wedding. (i'll put a video up sometime)

our lovely team all dressed up for the wedding!

little matthew

a millipede. they were huge as you can see

we gave this parachute to the very kids you see here. they LOVED it

one of the houses we lived in. 4 bunks. very small. mmhmm.

oh the balloons. they were a big hit. that's me in the corner

the children would always chase our van

beautiful faces

one of the schools we visited

*these are pictures taken by different people on our team. none of them were taken by me, as i took mine all on film*

i'm stuck @ confusion corner

2007-03-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

*i'm going to post pictures of africa, i promise......

So, I've been back in Seattle for 15 days now. The first week was crazy due to the DTS program running it's final mile (debrief), and now they've all scattered back to their homelands with many plans for the future. The DTS house is right next door to my townhouse (where a bunch of us staff live) so every time that house empties up, it's a little bit sad. There are a few students from this DTS that are making a comeback, so that's something I'm really looking forward to. One of the girls I got really close to, Heidi, is planning on moving back to Seattle in the summer - yay Heidi! I know our students face a lot of questions upon their return to "normal life". Please keep them in your prayers as they cover a lot of different situations and circumstances to return home to. It's exciting to see where they'll go after this experience we had the privilege of being a part of.

I knew that coming back from Africa would have it's difficult points. It's never easy coming back. As I'm sure you've gathered, I saw, experienced, & learned a lot during my time in Zambia. I'm trying to give myself time to see how things in me have changed.... honestly, I'm really tired. Not the kind of tired a good 12 noon sleep-in cures. Tired in spirit. If I can say that. It feels rather scary to admit that to all of you who might possibly be reading this. But it doesn't do me or you any good if I can't be honest about where I'm at. That's the point of keeping a blog that keeps y'all "in the know", right? There are just, what feels like, a million thoughts roaming the planes of my mind right now. It seems easier to pretend everything is great and under control. But I'm not in control, and I trust in a God who is quite creative and unpredictable at times. Oh, He's always good, just so big...

I'd love it if you would keep me in your prayers and to hear any encouragements you may have. I know we've all had moments like these in our lives. I know I'm not alone. I know things in my brain will calm down.

What's going on:

- staffing the next DTS?
- school? ...a thought...
- immigration/visa related stuff ... i'm at the place where I could apply for an R-1 (religious workers) visa which would allow me something like 3-5 years here, but not sure if I want to do that...
- i'm still in need of more monthly support (i have about $400/mth coming consistantly each month, but as my rent is $350/mth, that does'nt leave me with much to buy groceries, pay other bills, etc)
- the base is in the process of trying to purchase the "gray house" (DTS house) and our townhouse isn't such the deal it used to be (very expensive for very tiny rooms and space) so we're all moving over the the DTS house until August and then we'll be finding a new place to live. Lots of moving.
- i'll be staffing Mission Adventures again this spring/summer ....and GATEWAY is coming for a week! YAY!

i love the LORD i love the LORD, yessssss i love the LORD

2007-03-15T15:40:00.001-07:00

PPS....

2007-03-15T15:15:00.001-07:00

make sure you scroll around on my blog...i added a video for "naya mona", but if you're not looking for it, it could easily be missed.
super, thanks!

PS....

2007-03-14T10:55:00.000-07:00

keep checking back ... i'm going to be adding pictures and video too.
thanks :)

forgive me if i sound redundant...

2007-03-11T16:00:00.000-07:00

so...i'm back in seattle. Our team got back from Zambia via London on the 5th of March. What can I say to sum up 2 amazing and difficult months? It's hard. That's the big question these days: "How was Zambia?" and often times I probably look stunned in response. My head is full and spinning. We debriefed in London (as that's where Chrissie was born and raised) and though it was good, it was strange. It felt like we all just flipped some imaginary switch and turned Africa off for 3 days. And then suddenly we were all in Seattle....even stranger. It's good to be back all the same.

Zambia was amazing. It's a beautiful country filled with beautiful people who have this amazing gift of hospitality and joy inthe midst of much suffering. Their worship makes me very curious about what it will sound like in heaven...it was one of the most amazing things I've ever heard.

"Suffering" was a theme for our team. We wrestled it down to the ground and pinned it. Ha! Not exactly, but wrestle we did. Our team had many a good conversations about who God is within suffering. How do suffering and God's justice co-exist? Why does God answer prayers for healing for some and not for others? Can God be trusted? I mean, the questions people were asking were many and not easily answered with a pat answer. It was good for us to think about, pray about, and talk about with eachother. Our faith was constantly challenged and I think we came out stronger in many ways by the end. Of course, we've not got it down. There is much more to process and learn.

Eugene Petersons intro to Job was a huge encouragement for me. He just talks about the importance of entering the suffering rather than try to relieve it. We're so uncomfortable with suffering that we'll do anything to get rid of the feeling even if it causes more damage and suffering in the mean time. it's rather silly when you think about it.

We did a lot of home based care which is where the theme of suffering become most shoved in our faces and into our lives. Every monday and friday we would meet, pray for and encourage, anywhere from 5-15 people suffering with HIV & AIDS, Malaria, TB, sores all over their body, etc. Some of these poeple were not just HIV+, but they also had TB or Malaria at the same time....We met too many children who were orphaned by AIDS taking their parents. Sad.

So, you ask what's next for me. I'm a little overwhelmed at that thought at the moment. My head is full from what I've just been telling so little about (considering i could easily go on and on)....and regarding the future as well. Too many opportunties for me can sometimes be paralyzing.

I'm trying to pursue more with art and music since those are my passions. I'd like to see how maybe I can combine my care for justice and art/music in the future. I've been having trouble reconciling my artsy side with my "i feel like i have to be well educated and do something "important"..side". I'm still trying to figure it out! I have much to pray about in the next little bit and I'm doing my best to stay sane and just trust God with my overload of questions. Your prayers are eagerly welcomed & appreciated!

thanks for reading....caring....and keeping in touch.
more to come soon!

Naya Mona

2007-02-19T04:33:00.000-08:00

Naya Mona
Amaka yenu Tata
Inkumbu shenu pale nebo
Yaweh
Mucheni chenu
Muli nsansa Tata
Namipela amalumbo
Yaweh

I have seen Your power Father
Your mercy upon me Yaweh
In Your presence is fulness of joy
I give You praise Yaweh

....I love this song. It's my favourite zambian worship song in Bemba. On our last sunday in Luanshya our team taught the church the song "Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt Redman. That song took on a much more powerful meaning for me while being here in Zambia. Because I have seen them praise God in the face of diseases that are eating away at these beautiful people. They loved it!
Chrissie (one of the other 2 leaders with me) & I stayed with Pastor Jacob and his wife Annie and their adopted children this weekend. I didn't want to leave. We had such a great time. They were so incredibly hospitible.

There is so much to say and I'm having trouble limiting my words.....I don't know where to start this week. I'm overwhelmed by what I have seen and experienced here and it's about to come to an end in one short week.

I think for now, i'm going to sum up with NAYA MONA. I have seen. I have. I've seen God in such a different way in this country. I hope it has changed me. I hope to share many stories with you upon my return to the US.

Please pray for us as we're travelling and spending some time in London. Please PLEASE pray for me as I go through immigration on the 5th of March.

Love to you all.

living in the tension

2007-02-12T03:04:00.001-08:00

hello again.

well...it has been very hot the past 3 days. it was nice of the rain to let up for a few. we're expecting another downpour this afternoon. we'll see. it is the rainy season here so rain is to be expected. it's also made us start battling the common cold. no fun. that is something you could be praying for: the general health of our team. it's that time when we're getting tired and run down. we're on the homestretch now. we have 2 weeks left here in Luanshya and on the 25th we'll be heading to Livingstone to see Victoria Falls and go on the typical, African Safari. You could also pray for safe travels there and back. We will drive back to the capital, Lusaka, on the 1st of March and debrief in London for a few days and head back to Seattle on March 5th.

i was talking to one of the students this week and she was saying that home based care was difficult because she was getting used to seeing people suffering. she expressed that she didn't want to simply get used to it and she wanted it to move her the way it did the first time we all encountered it. she was also feeling angry at the suffering and trying to reconcile God's compassion at the same time. in thinking about how to respond the thought came to me that perhaps it is God's grace on us when we aren't reduced to complete wrecks everytime we see people suffering. i wonder what would ever be accomplished specifically in the area of dealing with the AIDS pandemic if we were all sobbing on the floor and furious with God. perhaps it's His grace allows us to be moved to action, forced to deal with our conflicting thoughts, and have our faith deepened through it all. it's this tension that we must have the grace to live within. hard - most definitley. good - for sure.

the weeks have been flying by. we have built some long lasting relationships. i am hoping that YWAM seattle will be sending more teams in the future to Zambia. we've had the priviledge of sharing the farm with 2 other teams at different times. One, a team from YWAM Atlanta and another, a team from Calgary, Canada. There is no shortage of people who care about this country and how badly it is being destroyed by AIDS and the lack of knowledge they need to deal with it; at least in the area of prevention. There is still the common belief held here that if you have sex with a virgin it will cure you of AIDS. This is a sad, sad lie that we need truth to reverse. simple education could change the face of this nation.

the team is doing well, aside from the colds some of us have. they are constantly striving to stay unified and engaged here as our time is winding down. of course, we alway welcome your prayers for us in that way. and thank you for the ones you've been praying already.

the next 2 weeks our schedule will look a bit different as we have the opportunity to share in a high school (we've been at orphan schools mostly). we are bringing them some books and pens and sharing about social issues and of course we'll probably be talking a bit about AIDS prevention as well. the students are being stretched and it's really cool to see them rise to the challenge. they're doing awesome and are so creative and full of new ideas.

i miss you all and can't wait till i can be in better contact with all of you. thank you for your patience with my lack of commnication.

much love to you all from zambia,
amanda

zambia...oh zambia...

2007-02-02T01:31:00.000-08:00

hello to all my faithful readers!!

first of all, let me apologize for not blogging until now. the internet connection here is slow at best and we have 4 computers in which to share among a team of twelve who are all very eager to check our emails. we get to the internet "place" every friday so that's the only time i get to check in.

you're probably wondering how it's been going. well, it's hard to believe we've been here for 3 weeks already!! much has happened as we've grown used to our surroundings and the culture here. zambia is a very beautiful country filled with very beautiful and kind people. they are a peaceful nation and the people who live here are very proud of this fact, as one would be, considering what many surrounding countries are facing here in Africa. however, AIDS is rampant here and very ovwerwhelming. our team has been faced with much suffering which has lead to many good, but hard, discussions...every monday and friday we go from house to house, sometimes more like, shack to shack, doing homebased care. we imagined this being what homecare in north america is, but what we actually do is go with volunteers from the community to each house, sit and hear what each "client" is sick with (the list is long...TB, HIV+/AIDS, malaria, etc etc) and then they tell us "now encourage them". We're getting used to this, but it's hard not to just sit there shell shocked by the huge amount of sickness that we're not used to seeing in front of our face. sometimes we cry when praying for patients, sometimes they cry, most of them are "positive", which is what the volunteers tell us in hushed voices. there is a lot of shame that comes with being positive so we don't just blurt it out matter of factly.

something that has been a huge encouragement for myself in dealing with all this suffering is what Eugene Peterson writes in the introduction to the book of Job:

"in our compassion, we don't like to see people suffer. and so our instincts are aimed at preventing and alleviating suffering. no doubt that is a good impulse. but if we really want to reach out to tothers who are suffering, we should be careful not to be like Job's friends, not to do our 'helping' with the presumption that we can fix things, get rid of them, or make them 'better'.......
.....instead of continuing to focus on preventing suffering - which we simply won't be very successful at anyway - perhaps we should begin ENTERING the suffering, participating insofar as we are able - enterning the mystery and looking around for God. in other words, we need to quit feeling sorry for people who suffer and instead look up to them, learn from them, and - if they will let us - join them in protest an dprayer. pity can be nearsighted and condescending; shared suffering can be dignifying and life changing."

aside from homebased care we are doing a lot of help on the farm, digging out gardens which will be responsible for feeding orphans, going to many schools and doing programs with the kids as well as learning their songs and stories. so fun.

we've had the privlege of attending a zambian wedding....whoa! so amazing, they really love to dance here. they bridal party dances their way up and down the aisle. one day you'll see both pictures and video of that.

the team has been amazing, resilient, hard working, encouraging...i'm having a great time...they are too. we are thankful for your prayers and emails. we could NOT be here, having this experience and having our worlds shaken without you guys at home being behind us. thank you.

we're suffering from minor sickness...colds, etc. i, personally have been in good health up to this point. i wouldn't mind your prayers that this continues. we have about 3 1/2 weeks or less left here in luanshya, then we will be taking a trip to livingstone to see Victoria Falls and we are having our debrief in London, England.

Much love to you all and more stories to come....

for your viewing pleasure

2007-01-05T16:51:00.000-08:00

dad

tree

my cousins: kara, larisa & myself

friends: kelly, amy & andrea

my parents & dave & bethany miller (long time friends...about to move to the Ukraine)

bethany & i

.2007.

2007-01-05T16:16:00.000-08:00

.....my oh my, it's 2007! Remember Y2K? Goodness, I was nothing but a young whipper snapper back then doing my DTS outreach in Newcastle, England. We partied the New Year in on what is now officially the "Africa Mercy"; then, in the midst of being converted from a dutch train ferry. Myself doing my infamous bagpipe impression (it's still pretty popular) and pretty much everyone else just running around the ship shouting at the tops of their lungs. It was great. I'll never forget it.

I spent Christmas in Winnipeg. It was soooooo nice to be home and visit with my parents and eat loads of good food! I didn't end up getting much time to see everyone I had hoped to, but this year I didn't stress out over it. After-all, there really wasn't much I could do about it. Christmas is a crazy time of year. I felt like I was able to relax despite that. I'm really thankful for the time I had at home. Also, can I just say how much I love being at my home church? Well, I guess I just did. It was really great to be at Gateway..and twice in one day!

It's been awesome to see how God has provided for our students in the most random of ways. Pretty much everyone has their entire outreach paid off. One girl, Brandi, had absolutely no money, and we held an offering within our school (yes, this means with just our students and our staff - which is 22 people in all) and her entire outreach was paid off!! Here were both students and staff giving out of a place of need. I think in the end there was something to the tune of $6000 given that afternoon. If you ask me how, the only logical answer would be: GOD. And I'm sticking to that!

I'm still personally in need of $300 for my outreach....and also $350 for this months rent. And guess when I leave for Zambia? Oh....Tuesday the 9th! And I'm not worried, I know God is going to provide. I mean just today I was on the way to the bank to deposit $40 and my friend Sam was walking by on the street and handed me a check he picked up at the YWAM Office....so I was able to give $100 more bucks towards outreach (before the $300 I still need). If you are reading this and would like to help me out in the area of finances, please feel free to contact me (manda_317@yahoo.com) as soon as possible. thanks :)

For now I'd like to leave you with this:

Phillipians 2:6-8 - equality with God was not to be grasped in human form, but he became less than God in order to serve us. Jesus, because he was God, was always equal to God. He understood that being God wasn't grasping or striving after power. God's way was through emptying himself. The gospel cannot be shared in any other way than pouring out of ourselves for people.
-Ron Ruthruffe- Seattle DTS 06-07 Check out Ron @ NEW HORIZONS. http://www.nhmin.org/

christmas and cursive..

2006-12-25T09:15:00.000-08:00

...it's christmas and yes, i'm writing something entirely unrelated to christmas.... no worries though, i just have to process the whole "christmas time" thing and then i'll be sure to update my blog christmas style.

i love when i'm at home and i start looking through boxes of my endless barrage of stuff from 26 years of life. you're always likely to find every birthday card (unless you're the type to throw 'em out..which i find personally difficult to do), stuffed animals that you cannot part with despite the fact that they have one limb hanging on by a thread and you've drawn all over it with pen when you were 4 (when you discovered that you could draw on anything to your mothers horror), old yearbooks you wouldn't be paid to show anyone, pictures, crumpled up giftwrap, etc. i'm sure you've all experienced this, so i won't bother you with the uneccesarry list of "stuff".....

....but what i love about this is when i happen upon something rather amusing, such as your old piano lesson book that you piano teacher wrote in each week telling you things like "lift your foot off the pedal on 3 so we don't hear anthing on 4 at the end of each line. lift your hand and foot at the same time", or "a lot of wrong notes. look at the book and your hands to make sure you're playing the right notes". you get the picture...yeah, well here is another picture:

i found this written at the front of my "hilroy" scribbler (for those Canadians out there...i used to think it said "hibroy"...because as you will soon see...i was still growing in my cursive writing skills):

"mrs. oh! you no what i have to things. to tell yow! i had the flew and hope you dont cach it i vometed tirteen times! the second ting i wanted to tell yow was that my names are Amanda1.dawn2.marie3. martens4.!
love ya from amanda your student."

oh to be a kid again... i was laughing, not only at the spelling, but at the fact that i thought it was completley serious buisness to tell her all about how i had the flu and didn't want her to catch it....and also at the randomness of me telling her my names as if there was some correlation to me having the flu.

these things make me laugh and see the humour in growing up. i hope we're always able to laugh at our mistakes to some extent...and of course, learn from them. maybe this is just more specific to my personality, but...i wanted to give you something to grin about this christmas morning.

.musings of a fast paced life.

2006-12-16T15:57:00.000-08:00

I hate that the days pass by so quickly. Sometimes I feel like I don't have enough time to even process all the things I'm learning each day. I don't mean to start off on a negative foot, because really what I'm feeling right now isn't negative at all. I'm actually quite happy and content with where I am and what I'm a part of. Come to think of it, the first time I really felt at peace with my life, was when I first came to Seattle in June 05. I don't want to give you the idea that I was never at peace with life, because that couldn't be more false. Before I came out here that summer, I had a really good talk with my Mom where she really encouraged me to staff the summer in Seattle because she knew that I was feeling quite miserable at home. I mean, I really liked working at Second Cup, loved the girls I worked with, my friends, my church, seeing my family a lot, etc, but there was a big part of me that felt completely lifeless. I felt like I was merely inhaling and exhaling, and that was my life. Existing. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful to God for my existence...but I felt like I had absolutely no purpose at all.

...and all of that seems like it was just a month ago! Since then I've staffed 2 summers of Mission Adventures, an Urban Internship and I'm presently staffing my 2nd DTS. I'm about to go on my 3rd outreach in less than 2 years, and my life feels just the way it sounds - BUSY!

We have been going so hard lately that I think my body is beginning to give me attitude. Yesterday our staff had a meeting that went from 9am-2pm, I was supposed to meet with someone at 4:30pm and then go to a birthday party at 7pm. Now perhaps this seems like just a busy day. Except that this is pretty literally how every day has been for the past month.. at least. At the thought of all the things I needed to get done before next friday (when I fly home to Winnipeg for Christmas); meetings, packing, lecture, one on ones, small group, etc, the thought of the rest of my day made me want to throw myself down on the floor and cry, which I almost did. Instead, I handed my phone to my housemate, shut my door and went to bed. DTS is all consuming. My day usually starts with me getting up at 6:30am and I'm doing something DTS related until 11pm that night. The whole 9-5 thing: yeah, right out the window...

BUT.... I love it! I also recognize that this is valuable, even despite the fact that there is no paycheck. It gives me purpose, it pushes me outside of the box all the time, I've learned a ridiculous amount about myself and God and a lot of other intense issues of the World, and it's pushing young people, like myself into seeing how God and their passions are intermingled and make sense. I get to see them challenged to be responsible with their knowledge. I get to see them get all fired up about social injustice and desperately want to make a change or pioneer something new. And I have the awesome privilege to do it along side of them!

So THANK YOU for your support ... without you guys backing me in all kinds of ways...there is no way I could be here, which means I wouldn't have met the people here that I've learned so much from, I wouldn't be so passionate about social justice, or working with refugees, I would not have had the crazy amount of opportunity and time to dive in head first like I have. I might just be merely existing and the gifts God has give me, wasted. Thank you for giving me the freedom to put them to use. I hope and pray that you all, as well, find opportunity and freedom in your own lives to live a life of meaning (which by the way, doesn't have to look a thing like what it does for myself). I mean that with all of my heart. Thank You.

"head & shoulders, knees & toes"

2006-11-30T21:51:00.000-08:00

...Every Thursday myself, along with 4 other students and another DTS staff person go spend our afternoon volunteering with World Relief. There we help with english classes held for refugees to Seattle and the surrounding areas.

Now, let's be honest here: this is probably one of my most favourite things I do every week. I have a TREMENDOUS amount of admiration for these people. So much so, that some days, right then and there in the middle of saying "now...put your tongue between your teeth and kind of blow out....that'll make a T-H sound.....yep, you got it....no, not zzzzz....thhh....." a single tear almost squeezes it's way out of my eye because I start to think of all the things these people have gone through to get to Seattle. The people we teach are anywhere from my age to 65+ years old...and here they are trying to understand silent L's and K's...and the 50 different ways to pronounce vowels....GOSH! I just can't tell you how my heart literally feels like it might just burst on behalf of these people. THESE (in my humble opinion) are the people who deserve recognition in this world. And, they're also some of my favourite people just to hang out with.....they're always inviting us over to their homes to spoil us rotten and feed us till we're sick, and they have MUCH less than we do. Here they are, a family of 6 or so crammed into a small apartment complex. I mean, you may not have caught on (or perhaps you're sneaky and you have...) but I could go on and on about how amazed I am by their courage and what lovely people they are.

So today I was teaching a Russian man named Usup and I thought...I have to blog about this. I like to describe myself as the type of person who stumbles upon these moments of intense love or joy and I just have to share it! I have so many funny stories about our times teaching in the English class. Please, please ask me about them whenever you like!

Here is a picture of my friend, Rossim:
Here we were teaching them body parts. We had them write down the parts on sticky notes and stick them to eachothers bodies....it was quite the laugh....they were pretty good sports about singing "Head and shoulders, knees and toes" too. They did the actions and everything! I also found out that Americans have a completely different tune for that song, than we, Canadians. I was totally lost when I found myself singing a totally different tune than the rest.....

so next time you hear that song, think of a bunch of adults, laughing and giggling in embarrassment as they learn "eyes, ears, mouth & nose" in english....

much love to all xox

PRESENTING: Team Zambia - as promised!

2006-11-28T14:49:00.000-08:00

TOP ROW: chris mcdonald. myself (amanda martens). becky leblanc. allena barnes. stephanie pizzillo. chrissie nichols (dts school leader and co-leader to zambia). eva crowe. ben fouche (other co-leader).

BOTTOM ROW: april hazen. heidi kemp. sarah topp. ann sergistad.

a blogged version of snail mail

2006-11-21T14:55:00.000-08:00

I will be sending these letters out, but wanted to post a copy of it on my blog, so that everyone could read it:

WE'RE GOING TO ZAMBIA!!!

Dear Friends & Family,

In January our team of 12 will be leaving for Zambia, Africa. We will be working in a place called Luanshya, which is 45 minutes south of Ndola. Our team will work with an organzation called "Hands at Work".

The Republic of Zambia is a large country at the heart of sub-equitorial Africa. More than a quarter of it's 11-12 million people live in two urban areas near the center--in the capital Lusaka and in the industrial towns of the Copperbelt. The rest of Zambia is very sparsely populated, particularly the west and the northeast, and the majority of people make thier living as subsistence farmers.

In four decades of independance, Zambia has found peace but not prosperity. Today it is one of the poorest and least developed nations on the earth. Around two-thirds of the population lives on less than a dollar a day.

Zambia's problems have since the mid 1980's been compounded by on of the world's most devastating HIV and AIDS epidemics. The statistics alone are shoking:
-One in every six adults is living with HIV
-98,000 people died of AIDS in 2005
-Life expectancy at birth has fallen below 40 yrs.
-710,000 children are AIDS orphans

"Hands at Work" is an organization working with orphans and those suffering with HIV/AIDS. We will be staying with a man named Pastor Jacob and his wife. They head up "Hands at Work" in Zambia and are looking forward to having our team there.

We will be spending lots of time in local schools, building relationships with the kids through games, music and dance, stories and arts and crafts. Many of the children have HIV or AIDS themselves, and/or have lost family and friends to the disease. We will be blessed to have an opportunity to bring the love of Christ to them in this way.

We will also have opportunities to go on home visits with the medical teams. These teams go out to the villages and care for those who are dying of AIDS. The teams help them with basic care and medication, as well ministering to them with prayer and encouragement.

We want to include you in the work God has prepared for us in Zambia. During this time, prayer is essential and we would ask you to remember us as often as you can. The other need we have is financial. Each student must raise $3,150 by December 15th to go on this outreach. We want to encourage you to pray about your involvement, and ask you to join with us in sharing the love of Jesus with the people of Zambia.

Please send all support to:

YWAM SEATTLE
5029 ROOSEVELT WAY NE
SUITE 100
SEATTLE, WA 98105

Love, Team ZAMBIA 2007

PS...as soon as someone emails me the picture of our team... I will have that up here too.
.LOVE TO YOU ALL.

a BIG surprise!!!

2006-11-08T14:51:00.000-08:00

....the other day i was talking to my dad on the phone...we were discussing what i should get for my mom's upcoming birthday....
i asked him to try to get some ideas from her and let me know, so he called me the next day and said he wasn't really getting anything good out of her. he then asked me what i would be doing on friday (this upcoming one) and if i'd want to go shopping. i thought that was a funny questions seeing as how i'm in seattle and he's in winnipeg.
i laughed and thought maybe he meant he would take his phone to the mall and we'd "shop together" over the phone. and as my laughter slowly fizzled out i asked "in seattle?" to which he responded "yes, in seattle".
can you imagine my SHOCK!? he told me they had booked tickets only the day before and that, yes, he and my mom would be here this friday until the following tuesday! they were going to just show up and surprise me, but they decided to let me know ahead of time.

SO, thank you to all who knew that this is what I wanted so badly and prayed with me for an opportunity for them to visit me here. it's the best birthday present in the world and i will hopefully have a picture or 2 to put on my next blog.

love to you all!

still pondering...

2006-11-05T19:07:00.000-08:00

when i say the word "intimacy", I wonder what most people would say it means. we always talk about intimacy with God and I guess I've never quite understood exactly what that meant, other than being very close to Him. in the context of a marriage we often say that intimacy means being "one" with the other person. or physcially intimate. but i think intimacy goes way beyond physically naked in front of your spouse or God. i think it's standing completely bare, or to be completely known by someone else and sill loved and accepted, even in your flaws. it's hard for us to grasp that we have the freedom to be that known to God and come away unscathed. except that he already knows us.... it's not like any of our shortcomings or flaws are any shock to Him. for many of us, it's simply much more comfortable to remain hidden, it's also much more safe. you can't really be hurt if you can't be seen. and so we go on dying to be known and accepted for who we really are beneath all our skin, but terrified out of our wits to let ourselves be known. not all of us, i'm sure some of us have figure this out and learned the freedom in being honest.....but some of us are paralyzed by the fear of being rejected. sad.

i was thinking about a friend the other week and i had this picture in my mind of myself standing before God, and I began to strip down. It was terribly alkward, but I kept stripping away the layers....until I was completely uncovered. So there I am, completely unhidden before God and now I'm surrounded by the layers of filth, deceit, lies, and all my shame. It's there, at my feet in a circle around me. NOW I HAVE A CHOICE: I either stand in the middle of all of it and eventually sit down which would lead to me picking through the layers...remembering....and maybe even putting some back on because they seem so "comfortable" or perhaps simply familiar.

Isn't this what we all do? I mean, we get to this point where we're totally seen by God, but then we fear what He'll do with us next, so we start putting all the crap back on and we never actually find wholeness. We never walk away from what He's saved us from! We just parade around in circles, torturing ourselves and wondering how to get free.

WALK! We've left it at His feet, now WALK AWAY....leave it with Him. Isn't this what He died for? I'm pretty sure He didn't die to watch us meander through our muck endlessly, all the while feeling horrible about ourselves.

I guess, in thinking of my friend, I've seen so many people, including myself....talk and talk and talk and talk about our struggles or wanting to know God more, but then I see us keep flapping our gums with our feet firmly planted to the ground. We won't budge, we'll just talk about how we want to move forward.

I want to move forward...even if I don't know what that looks like, or I don't know in what direction. Forward is best, backwards just leads to depressing circles and hopelessness. And I know my God is much bigger than that.....i want to be known by Him, I want intimacy like this.

rainy day thoughts

2006-10-24T16:56:00.000-07:00

THIS IS AMY AND I. Amy is 23 yrs old from California. She is a student in the DTS I'm staffing as well as in my small group. I meet with her each week for a one on one time. She's a very sweet girl, she has great style, she's very creative, has a really cool perspective, and is a lot of fun to be around.! It's really cool to see the work of redemption God has done in her. She will be going on outreach to Thailand in January.

So ... week 5 I guess now. Wow! I can't believe how far into the school we are already. If I had my own computer (which I'm really hoping and praying God will help provide for) I would probably be much better at updating my blog. There is just so much to say and I tend to have trouble saying it concisely!

Our speaker this week is Matt Atkins. He is speaking on "The Father Heart of God". FUN FACT: Matt spoke on this very same thing in my DTS back in 1999! He must have been one of the speakers I appreciated most, because I had my picture taken with him....which now, when I look back to, I giggle at. This week always tends to hit the emotional nerves as it is quite difficult (as you can probably guess) for many people to grasp God as "Father". In a world where there are so many Fatherless, not to mention really horrible Fathers... it can be hard for some of the students to relate to God. For some, their only image of a Father is someone who was not present, someone who abused them, someone who was physically there but in their heart, a million miles away, etc. So if you think of it, please pray for the students this week. To really understand how God feels towards us is very difficult and quite scary for some. Please pray that the students would have grace with themselves to "get it", and pray that they would be able to really hear and know what God thinks of them as His children.

It's a rainy, grey day here in Seattle. Typical. I really love it though...I'm really thankful that I'm here. So thanks to all those out there who practically enable me to be here through the gift of finances. I think of you on days like today, when I am reminded of how much I love this amazing and diverse city....

dave matthews & mick jagger!?

2006-10-19T23:25:00.000-07:00

... the stones show in seattle, OCT 18th 2006.

I WAS THERE!?! yes, i was. i didn't plan to be there. my friend, ben, and i just decided to hop on a bus and see if we could get free tickets or really cheap tickets. they were going for anywhere from $60-$500....the most we were willing to pay was $20 for a ticket. well, i said a little prayer to God.... "i believe you care about the little things too, so it'd be cool if we could get tickets"...and we did!!!!

i don't quite know how to put it into words.....but if you hear me talk about it my voice get's all high and i start talking really fast. the stage was phenomenal! there were actually seats ON the stage....they were $500. crazy! the stage also rolled out into the middle of the football stadium (it was at Quest Field..where the Seattle Seahawks play) with them on it... there were fireworks and pyrotechnics....mick jagger; an endless ball of energy running around stage the entire night.

you know...it really is in those moments, when i get a little glimpse of how much God cares about me. it was such a great night! it was freezing...and i had to wear my leg warmers on my arms...because i had run out the door in haste not expecting to even SEE the stones play, but so worth it! i mean, they're icons.

thanks for letting me share my excitement with you...

shin splints & other things

2006-10-12T17:31:00.000-07:00

yep. last week i had one of my best runs. i was running at a good pace; not feeling tired at all. so i kept running until i had pretty much doubled my distance. everything was going great until i slowed to a walk and started picturing a life with unusable legs. SHIN SPLINTS! oh it's true. painfully true. only now, a week and a half later, are my legs being gracious to me. i mean, i can actually walk without wincing now. that's been nice. ;)

so i've learned my lesson. check. i will not be tricked into pushing myself too far next time. training takes time, sometimes i just don't have the patience with myself. too much of a good thing really can be bad.....

and on to "OTHER THINGS"...

this week in DTS Richard Dahlstrom, the pastor of the church i attend here in Seattle, is speaking. he has been speaking on Genesis. same old stories us who were raised in christian homes have grown up hearing from sunday school until now, only when Richard teaches, the Bible comes alive. it's been quite revolutionary for many of the students.

he went through the lives of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Judah, Joseph .... how all of them tried to do things on their own strength...trying to 'help' God fulfill His promises. i mean, look at Abraham....OOPS! we're still seeing the effects of him trying to take matters into his own hands. yes, these are the people that make up the geneology of Christ. and why would God choose their line to be one from which to enter the world as the Messiah? maybe it's because God chooses us, not according to who we are, but because he wants to write a story of transformation. so that when people look at our lives they don't say "oh look how clever Amanda is", but rather "look what God has done in her life". the glory has to go to Him!!

1 CORINTHIANS 1:26&27
Consider your own call, brothers and sisters: not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong.

that God would choose to use us despite the huge messes we make, are testimony to God's faithfulness. but in order for people to see transformation they have to see what we are being transformed from, yeah? so then it would be true to say that God is very interested in us living transparent lives. a hard and quite scary thing to do. but how freeing to know that i don't have to get it right every time....God will remain true to His words even if i don't. His character isn't dependant on mine and it doesn't change when mine does. what a relief!

oh yeah...one more thing...

2006-09-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

in one of my last blogs...i said that i was going to pick something to do for 21 days. lately i've gotten really into running. i used to run way back sometime when i was a pre-teen. i remember cross country meets... and specifically breathing into a paper bag to stop from hyperventalating at the end of one...anyways, that's besides the point! i have been running and it's been so great! plus there are a lot of really beautiful places to run in this city...like for instance, to gasworks park. if any of you watch the amazing race, the season on right now started in seattle at gasworks park....

sweet.

DTS Begins

2006-09-28T15:10:00.000-07:00

so .. it's been a while since I last updated in these parts. the reason is, that i've basically been running from dts meeting to dts meeting and getting rooms set up and door signs ready and welcome baskets finished...and after many times of prayer and trips to target, costco & ikea, the students began arriving on Saturday of last week. It's hard to believe that they haven't yet been here one week. I feel like i've known them all for at least a few months.

the group ranges in age from 17-25. It's a great group of students (all 15 of 'em). There are 2 girls from Norway, 1 girl from Calgary (woo hoo for the Canuck!!), and the rest are all Americans.

i feel like a theme in the school already is truth. being true to who you are, who God made you to be, and walking in truth. and i feel that God is wanting to do some very specific stuff in my own life regarding this. learning more about my identity, who i want to be, not what others want me to be, not even what i want myself to want to be. does this make sense? i have been having some good talks with our first speaker in the DTS, Patrick Dodson. (check out his links, i really appreciate the angle he takes on life and spirituality) He would say that the only time we will really feel fulfilled is when we're living according to who we truly are (of course, in Christ). But in this society...finding who you truly are is quite the feat. There are just so many things interrupting my sense of self.

so anyways, i'm so excited for this next 5 months. i'm excited to get to know the students, weekly outreaches, learning and growing, listening to some great teaching and working hard too. please think of me in your prayers...this time takes a lot of energy and between the early mornings and very busy schedules it's easy to run oneself ragged pretty quick.

.love to you all.

21 Days of Something

2006-09-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

...yep, this is the book i'm reading currently. david crowder is quite the comical guy alongside of having many really solid things to say. as one would assume by the title: "PRAISE HABIT", it's about making praise...a habit, which i'm sure we've all struggled with a time or two.

i liked this bit:

"Years ago a friend told me that an action repeated for a minimum of twenty-one days is likely to become a permanent habit. So I thought I'd give it a shot. I would choose a habit that was nonsensical but not too nonsensical...."

(it ends up working ... but that's all i will tell you because i think you should read it)

so i've been thinking of challenging myself to do the same. i haven't yet picked a "habit", but i have a few ideas. and obviously, i want to make praise a habit; something that just comes naturally. i don't want to have to think about it being my first response. i want it to come out of who i am. oh, and i'll let you know how i do.

PURA VIDA!!!!

2006-08-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

...yes, it's been a while since I last updated this. i don't now how often people actually check it, but for those who do (thank you and i love you), my apologies!

I just returned to Seattle a week ago from 10 days in Costa Rica! I had the awesome privelege of leading a team of youth/young adults from the Seattle area and had an amazing time! Honestly, it was probably one of my most favourite outreaches to date. Now that I think about it, that's probably due to the short time we were there. I say this meaning one week isn't long enough for the novelty of being in another culture to wear off .... if that makes sense. If it doesn't, feel free to strike that. haha :)

Anyways, it was an amazing time! The team were all American Koreans. They were very kind to me....saying that I was part of their family. The students were so loving to one another and respectful of leadership, and gave 100% into every ministry they were a part of! The hosts that took care of us and cooked for us were people that I will never forget. I've grown up hearing that people will "know we are Christians by our love", and while that's a nice thing to say, I've never experienced that truth until I went to Costa Rica. I really feel like I saw Jesus in the team that I lead and the people that hosted us!

Costa Rica is an absolutely gorgeous country, and the people are so welcoming. The food was incredible too! Our team spent our time in Liberia, Costa Rica. We preached in schools, did Vacation Bible School for many children, went to the slum areas and held a big VBS party for the kids, later we went back and went house to house praying for people, we worshipped in Central Park, picked up trash in the community, lead sunday services at local churches and made some really good friends while we were at it. For me, it was a more typical outreach style that I was a bit uncomfortable with, but some things just work in certain cultures. You wouldn't find many drama's that would interest the people in Seattle, but they're all over it in Costa Rica!

I have more fun stories .... I'll add them once I've gotten my pics developed and can post them on this site!

Miss you all ... please keep in touch as time allows!

some thoughts & prayer requests...

2006-07-08T20:48:00.000-07:00

Flying, lately, has left me feeling awed. When I allow it's concept to roll around my brain for too long, I find that I cannot fully fathom how simple it is to wake up in Winnipeg and crawl into my bed in Seattle the very same day; within hours even ...Realizing that I cannot fathom flying in all it's normality this day and age, it makes me realize how much more difficult it is for me to wrap my mind around how huge God is. It would take me a hundred lifetimes to understand His greatness, and even after all that time, I still wouldn't fully understand. Kinda leaves me speechless, and even better - helpless in His hands. I am so in need of Him. Every day I see my brokenness and my sin more clearly. I see the ways in which I do not come close to the person I would like to be. Not fun, nooooo. No one enjoys seeing the ugly parts of themselves. But if I didn't have God, I would have no where to go after that ... with Him I am blessed with the reality of His grace being enough to cover all that causes me shame. With Him, I can live in freedom even though I really don't deserve to.

*sigh*

I have to aknowledge that it was only God that I even made it to Seattle. See, I missed my connecting flight from Vancouver to Seattle. I watched as 10:55 am (when my flight was due to take off) came and went ... and still I had not been called in for "questioning", or whatever you want to call it. I thought about crying, and then realized that that really wouldn't do me any good in the long run. So I prayed and resolved to simply answer the questions honestly (just in case you're wondering, I have never considered lying...haha) and concisely. I got stuck at the border explaining why I was coming into the country, being told I needed to "prove that I didn't plan to abandon my country", and a barrage of other most frustrating questions. And then, I suppose the immigration officer decided that she didn't have anything that she could really hold against me, and in the middle of asking me "how long I planned on doing this", she had me filling out forms and a minute later, I walked out with a year & a month long Visa!!! My flight was rebooked and I arrived in Seattle at 2 pm instead of 12:30! I was a little exhausted and stressed, but soooo happy there were no further complications.

So thank you for all who prayed!!! It's always a bit stressful at immigration, and I thought of many of you whom I'd asked to pray while sitting in the waiting room.

I need your continued prayers while I'm here - mostly for finances. I really need more financial support. I would like to raise $1000/mth. I don't really know what else to say about that, except that that's just what I need. Rent, groceries, transportation, communication, and basic necessities (like toothpaste and shampoo and t.p) add up quite quickly and right now I fall hugely short of what I need. I am trusting that God will continue to take care of me as he has this past year and sincerely thank you for your prayers on my behalf.

.LOVE TO YOU ALL.

.HOME & BACK AGAIN.

2006-07-06T14:27:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I just got back on the 4th of July (yes, just in time for the biggest celebration ever!) from 3 weeks in Winnipeg. I have to say, I had a really really nice time at home visiting family and friends. It was super relaxing and a lot of fun.

I was thinking about how much God has blessed me with a great family and incredibly loving and supportive friends. It's a nice feeling to have people in your life who have known you for 10+ years. I did lots of laughing...laughing because we did a lot of reminiscing. I felt so encouraged and loved by all of you at home (Winnipeg) and it was a good time for me to think about why I love Seattle. Being home made me realize, yet again, just how much I love what God is allowing me to be a part of here in Seattle.

Here are a few pictures of my time @ home:
some of my very cute cousins playing in our pool

canada day breakfast in our backyard...mmm....i love breakfast!

my friend matty & i @ the pretzel place his family runs at the goldeyes stadium

my friend diana & i being silly @ starbucks

my beautiful mommy and i

my handsome dad and i

....so thank you to those of you who came to my house to hear more about what I did while in Thailand and my heart for the ministries I am involved with in Seattle! I love all of you and it meant a lot to me that you took the time to hear what was on my heart!

It was short but sweet and so great to see all of you that I did!

Much love,
amanda

What Is YWAM anyways?

2006-06-19T23:10:00.000-07:00

Youth With A Mission is an international movement of Christians from many denominations dedicated to serving Jesus throughout the world. Also known as YWAM (pronounced "WYE-wam"), our calling is to know God and to make Him known. Back when we began in 1960, our main focus was to get youth into short-term mission work and to give them opportunities to reach out in Jesus' name. Today, we still focus on youth, and we also involve people of almost every age (even many people who choose to spend their "retirement" in active service), from over 130 countries. Our many ministries fit into three main categories: evangelism, training and mercy ministry. We are currently operating in more than 900 locations in over 140 countries, with a staff of over 11,000.

WHAT IS A “DTS”?

Discipleship Training Schools (DTS) aim to prepare messengers of the gospel, helping students to know God in depth. The goal is to form Christian character and establish Biblical relationships while developing a daily walk with God. This intensive Christian training course begins with an 11 or 12 week classroom phase followed by a typically 12 week outreach.

The DTS is designed to encourage students to develop in personal character, to cultivate a living relationship with God, and to identify their unique individual gifts and callings in God. Cross-cultural exposure and global awareness are special emphases throughout these courses, preparing the students to reach current and future generations and answer the call to "Go into all the world and make disciples of all nations" Matthew 28:19.

Today is June 3rd.

2006-06-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

Us @ Gasworks Park with our Turkish Friends

.... and that means that today myself and some friends took a few of the Turkish Women (& their children) we work with @ World Relief to Seattle (as they live in Kent, WA; 45 min. outside of the City) for a day out!

When we arrived at one of the apartment complexes we found our friend Nadir who then took us to his apartment where his wife Zakkiya & their 4 children were. We thought we were just picking them up but they made us sit down, they turned on music, and next thing we know we're being fed tons of food and given our choice of coffee, water, or cola! Zakkiya had a permanent smile on. I think she was excited to go to Seattle. It was very sweet.

We took them to Gasworks Park and they brought Turkish food to feed us! We also took them to Seattle Center to see the Space Needle and we went on a few rides at the carnival there. We took a bazillion pictures and had a really great time!

I am constantly overwhelmed by the hospitality of these people!!! It seems like everytime we try to bless them we end up more blessed by them! I cannot express how much I love seeing them each week and how inspired I am by all that they have been faced with in coming to America. English is a terribly difficult language to learn, especially for people their age. Not only that, but the culture is just so different and they miss their family back in Russia so much. I wonder how it must feel to watch their children become "Americanized", I wonder how it feels to be stared at, I wonder if they're sad a lot of the time. Mayura was sad today - she said she was homesick. Even I remember being in Thailand and getting to the point where I was sick of using their money, eating their food, speaking their language and longed for the familiarity of home. But they don't get to go home because they're refugees. I can't imagine how the reality of that must feel. They have never "fit in" anywhere, not even in their "home" (Russia) because they're Turkish and Russia didn't accept them either. The government takes care of them only for a certain time and then they have to provide for their families, and I'm sure that some of them had already retired back in Russia. Now they have to work for a living all over again! ... and still they're some of the most thankful people I've ever met.

sheesh...writing this I realize how much I care about them and desire their happiness, to make them feel loved and like they belong.

I'll be home June 12th!

2006-05-19T13:08:00.000-07:00

....for 3 weeks!! yay! I can't wait to (hopefully) see as many of you as I can!

I would like to have you all over (those of you who live in Winnipeg...unless you'd like to fly in! I certainly wouldn't object! haha)to my house one evening for some tasty Thai food. I would love to share with you what I've been busy doing out here and more about my time in Thailand. I have a few fun DVD's to show, many pictures and lots to say!

I haven't set a date yet, but I will before next weekend. I will keep you updated on that! I really hope you can come!

Much love to all of you,
amanda

...and this is the beautiful city:

2006-05-17T13:40:00.000-07:00

...just wanted to let everyone know that I'm doing really well as of late! The weather here in Seattle has been absolutely gorgeous. It's pretty much summer, though, I won't get too ahead of myself as this is Seattle and the rain loves us over here.

For the past month now I have been volunteering at WORLD RELIEF (http://www.wr.org/) helping teach english to refugees. The newest group of refugees to arrive in Seattle come from Russia, but they aren't Russian. They are ethnic Turks, but they never lived in Turkey. Their ancestral home is Meskhetia, now part of the Republic of Georgia. They have many other refguees from other countries; this just happens to be the class that I am helping with for now.

AND I LOVE IT! I cannot tell you how much I look forward to going each week! The people are so sweet and I have so much fun with them. English is really difficult language to learn, so quite often they will just shake their heads and say "oh ...crazy english! " As I lead a team to Kyrgyzstan in the summer of '02, I know limited Russian which I like to bust out every now and then and they really like that. There are about 18 people in the class, ages 25-65. There are a few of us from YWAM Seattle that volunteer each week and we're hoping to take a bunch of the families to the waterfront in Seattle one weekend to see more of the city. If and when that works out, I'll make sure to take some pictures and post them on this blog.

i'll post more very soon...

HOT CHOCOLATE ANYONE??

2006-04-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

Back in the spring of '03, when I was still on staff with YWAM Montana, I decided to go help out the Mission Aventures program in San Francisco. They needed someone to do the worship every morning so myself and another friend went out there and worshipped with the teams that came through and helped out with the other ministries. One of those was "Hot Chocolate Ministry". This was simply making a ton of hot chocolate and going out and serving it to people on the street. This was not only for "homeless" people, though in the tenderloin district of San Francisco, that's 99% of the people you will find out on the streets at night. I fell in love with this ministry because there was no hidden agenda. We just went out there and loved people and hung out with them. They knew that we were Christians, we were up front about that and sometimes they would ask us to pray for them. But getting them saved wasn't the whole point. (Of course it was a hope that they would eventually know him personally.) You can't walk up to a someone who is starving with a swollen belly and tell them Jesus loves them and then walk away without giving them any food! I mean, you can, but what would it accomplish? The person is still starving to death, right?

It's the same with this ministry. . . it's us going to them. Listening to them, talking with them, giving them hot chocolate and an ear to listen on a cold night surrounded by people strung out on drugs, drunk, and mentally not quite there. People who sleep on the ground in a park every night. People who have a story. They're not out on the streets for a free ride, I can tell you that much. Living on the streets is a hard life and those who do will tell you that right away. A lot of times they preach at us not to make the same choices they did so that we never have to face what they face.

So this is what I've started in Seattle. Every wednesday night at 8pm we go downtown seattle and hang out with the people we find at the park. I don't know the name of the park. We call it "courthouse park" because it's by the court house. ha ;) appropriate - i know.... and I love it. There is no such thing as a "typical night" doing hot choc. ministry, some nights are hard, some are super fun, some are very dramatic. You never know who you'll find and what they'll be strung out on, or what mood they'll be in ....

...but I do find Jesus there every wednesday night. And i know His heart beats for them, just as hard as it does for mine.

.TERRIFY NO MORE.

2006-04-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

Psalm 10
"...you hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the opressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more."

One week in the DTS a girl named Bethany, who worked with International Justice Mission came to speak to our students. While my team was in Thailand, we met with a guy who worked at the Thailand IJM Office. He told us more about IJM and what they were doing in Thailand. It's an amazing organization. They've been on Dateline at least once that I know of as well.
So i've been reading this book, "Terrify No More". It's written by the president of IJM - Gary A. Haugen. I encourage you all to check out their website and get yourself a copy of this book.

God has been developing within me a passion for those who face injustice. One thing that's stuck with me is something that I've heard a number of times already, and is also said in this book: "....And quite simply, in the moral universe engineered by a holy God, knowledge carries responsibility." Once we know, we can't just do nothing. Its like knowing that a child is choking, and walking into another room. Sometimes we ignore out of this feeling of helplessness. Sometimes it's fear, or this feeling that the ones desperately in need of justice are too far away; and so we become apathetic. We see so much on T.V and have grown up in a society that breeds an "every man for himself" attitude. We've become desensitized to anything that doesn't directly affect us. Whatever it is, I'm convinced it's upsetting to a God who cares deeply about justice. Isaiah 1:17 - "...seek justice, rescue the opressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow."

"....I am convinced that any serious contest with evil requires a painful confrontation with the truth. The greatest and most shameful regrets of history are always about the truth we failed to tell, the evil we failed to name. The greatest enemy in our struggle to stop oppression and injustice is always the insidious etiquette of silence." - GARY A. HAUGEN

the urban internship

2006-04-06T22:17:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm staffing the Urban Internship.

....and this is what it's all about: (courtesy of the YWAM Seattle Website):
YWAM Seattle Urban Internship 2006

Dates March 23 – June 11

The YWAM Seattle Urban internship is designed to equip DTS graduates to become active members of an ever-changing world, a world in which missions cannot be defined with a phrase but through a lifestyle of living for Christ and His kingdom.

For those DTS graduates who are interested in pursuing a career in the business world, becoming a musician, photo journalist, barista, teacher, doctor, or diving deeper into missions, etc. our goal is to provide them with a healthy learning environment to step out into their interests and discover what it would take to reach their goals. Some students will have a clear vision for their future, and for others their futures might be a bit foggy, and that is OK. While they are in Seattle they will not only benefit from a strong community of believers but also through the teaching and experience of our weekly speakers and YWAM Seattle’s vast network of professionals ranging from computer programmers to social advocates to missionaries in 3rd world countries; we hope that those who are uncertain will be able to feel comfortable researching and stepping toward vocations which they were previously inexperienced in.

Responsibilities:
During the first week we will spend a considerable amount of time defining our personal mission statement and describing core values. These statements will be an important foundation for the internship. The interns will use this foundation to develop a thesis, which will be the main focus of their internship and will subsequently shape their weekly itinerary. Each students weekly schedule will be based around teaching, research and hands on activities that will give them experience in their respective areas of interest (volunteer work at a mission, hospital, school, etc.).

All projects will be presented during the last week of the internship. Each student must be able to clearly communicate how their chosen interest matches up with their personal mission statement, and how they can take steps in the future to accomplish their goals.

In addition to the thesis all interns will be responsible for a weekly blog documenting their recent thoughts and activity. And providing weekly schedules detailing times of research, networking, volunteer work and any other activity that corresponds with their thesis project.

Strength through community:
Through common household chores, open forum discussions, peer evaluations, and times of intercession and worship, all interns and staff are required to take part in our community, to build each other up, counsel and provide a safe environment for individual growth.

Weekly Focuses:
During the Internship we will spend one week focusing on each of the seven arenas of social or cultural influence.
• Healthcare
• Church/Ministry
• Family
• Business
• Music/Arts/Media
• Government
• Education

We will be inviting speakers who are experts in their own respective arena to sit down and discuss with us their story, how they reached their goals and how a Christian can impact the world around them through their profession. The format is not styled in a traditional teaching setting but more of a forum discussion that will take place around meal times.

The goal here is not to create replicas of each speaker but to simply provide storytellers who can assist each intern by sharing personal ideas, triumphs and hardships.

It is our hope that all who are involved in the internship will be able to see God move in their lives and through the lives of others around them. We pray that as a community of believers we can pull together our strengths, weaknesses, talents and resources to become powerful witnesses of Gods creation and the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Well

2006-04-01T18:11:00.001-08:00

While in Bangkok, we worked with a ministry called "THE WELL". This is a ministry for girls who have come out of prostitution. Prostitution in Thailand is sadly a multi-billion dollar industry and though it is technically illegal, it's so huge that the police seem to just turn their heads instead of dealing with it.

The staff at The Well basically go down to the main strip of bars in Bangkok and pursue relationship with the girls they find there. Sometimes this require paying as if they are "customers" to spend time talking and praying with them. They tell them about Jesus and they let them know that if they want to leave prostitution and have a safe & healthy place to go to, they can join The Well. Many have. I hope many more do.

At The Well the girls recieve biblical education, counselling, and an opportunity to start self-supportive businesses of their own. Many of these girls have children so finding a way other than prostitution to provide for them is extremely necessary. Otherwise, though they despise working in the bars, it becomes quite enticing as it's a sure way to take care of themselves and their children.

These are 2 pictures from the strip of bars in Bangkok. The girls have numbers pinned to their dresses and they aggresively pursue customers to either come into their bars, or take them back to their hotels. The whole experience of merely standing in the midst of this place was quite surreal. There are throngs of white male foreigners everywhere you look, drunk and willing to pay to take a beautiful young thai girl back to his hotel. To say it's disgusting would be an understatement.

We were able to spend time in bible study with the girls, and in worship. We got to know a lot of them and their stories. One, in particular really changed me. I met a girl named Dao. She has 4 children and the saddest story I have ever heard. However, she has become a Christian and God is slowly but surely healing her and giving her a renewed hope for her life. If there is a way for me to eventually be able to financially support her, I hope to do so. We laughed a lot as we tried to communicate with both our limited thai & limited english skills, but somehow we became fast friends and she is someone I deeply care about and will never forget.

This is Dao and one of her sons:

Myself, Dao & Khio (the thai lady who runs The Well) preparing thai barbque

Dao's Children

The girls worshipping @ The Well

pictures from the Akha Youth Development Center (AYDC)

2006-03-30T23:04:00.000-08:00

The kids went crazy for digital cameras. I think we have about 500 pictures exactly like this!

Athi - A pastor of a local village. He lived with us just so that he could learn english. He has to be the most energetic guy I've ever met in my entire life. Here he has menthol strips on his face for a headache. Demonstrating some cultural/medicinal differences.

Our Thai teachers kids. Probably some of the cutest kids ever.

One of the girls I was close to - Bebe. This isn't her given name, but the only name we ever knew her by.

This is Ampon. She and I got on very well. She would wave to me frantically until either she or I were out of sight. I would always hear her calling my name from down by her dorm. (we lived up the hill from their dorm) We would sit on the swings and sing songs and try to figure out how to translate from thai to english and back again. She knew maybe 10 words in english ... I probably knew about the same. But we somehow managed to figure it out with a lot of sign language and laughing!

2006-03-30T22:27:00.001-08:00

AKHA YOUTH DEVELOPMENT CENTRE - CHIANG RAI, THAILAND

The Akha Youth Development Centre is a youth hostel for Akha children. It is a place for kids who live too far away and have no way of getting into the city for school. A lot of them come from broken families, or drug addicted parents. This is a very healthy and safe enviroment for them to live as Akha's have less opportunity and rights than Thai citizens. If it weren't for this program many of them would get a very limited (if any) education, which could eventualy lead to the young girls ending up as prostitutes, or the boys growing and selling (as well as becoming addicted to) opium. It is a Christian Centre run by Luka and Ghan Chermui. Luka's parents were the first Akha people to become Christians as a result of a missionary named Jean Nightengale and her husband many years back. Luka was the first known baby to be dedicated to God. Jean Nightengale later wrote a book about it called "Without A Gate".

.... for the first 6 weeks of our outreach this is where we lived (AYDC). As you can see, it was an absolutely gorgeous place to wake up to every morning. Here we invested in the childrens lives, taught much english, became masters at mixing cement and paving roads, sang, spoke, gave testimonies, etc in church.

When the children went to school during the day we were either working on the road, teaching english in the local schools, teaching girls basic cooking/baking skills, and sometimes i was busy re-typing "Without A Gate" - a book about how the Akha hilltribe found Jesus.

Our evenings were spent eating with the kids and playing with them. We also learned had 2 lessons per week where we learned both the Thai and Akha language.

During our time at AYDC we also had a few interesting village trips and eating some very interesting dishes!

Our time at AYDC was memorable, and it was very hard for our team to leave. We built some really sweet relationships with the children and the leaders there. The story of the Akha people is incredible and one I will write more about as well. It's amazing to see what God is doing in these people, how he is redeeming their culture, freeing them from addiction and giving them more opportunities in a country where they are widely unaccepted. There were may tears when we left, and a few of our students were so moved, they are planning on going back at some point.