livin'

forgive me if i sound redundant...

so...i'm back in seattle. Our team got back from Zambia via London on the 5th of March. What can I say to sum up 2 amazing and difficult months? It's hard. That's the big question these days: "How was Zambia?" and often times I probably look stunned in response. My head is full and spinning. We debriefed in London (as that's where Chrissie was born and raised) and though it was good, it was strange. It felt like we all just flipped some imaginary switch and turned Africa off for 3 days. And then suddenly we were all in Seattle....even stranger. It's good to be back all the same.

Zambia was amazing. It's a beautiful country filled with beautiful people who have this amazing gift of hospitality and joy inthe midst of much suffering. Their worship makes me very curious about what it will sound like in heaven...it was one of the most amazing things I've ever heard.

"Suffering" was a theme for our team. We wrestled it down to the ground and pinned it. Ha! Not exactly, but wrestle we did. Our team had many a good conversations about who God is within suffering. How do suffering and God's justice co-exist? Why does God answer prayers for healing for some and not for others? Can God be trusted? I mean, the questions people were asking were many and not easily answered with a pat answer. It was good for us to think about, pray about, and talk about with eachother. Our faith was constantly challenged and I think we came out stronger in many ways by the end. Of course, we've not got it down. There is much more to process and learn.

Eugene Petersons intro to Job was a huge encouragement for me. He just talks about the importance of entering the suffering rather than try to relieve it. We're so uncomfortable with suffering that we'll do anything to get rid of the feeling even if it causes more damage and suffering in the mean time. it's rather silly when you think about it.

We did a lot of home based care which is where the theme of suffering become most shoved in our faces and into our lives. Every monday and friday we would meet, pray for and encourage, anywhere from 5-15 people suffering with HIV & AIDS, Malaria, TB, sores all over their body, etc. Some of these poeple were not just HIV+, but they also had TB or Malaria at the same time....We met too many children who were orphaned by AIDS taking their parents. Sad.

So, you ask what's next for me. I'm a little overwhelmed at that thought at the moment. My head is full from what I've just been telling so little about (considering i could easily go on and on)....and regarding the future as well. Too many opportunties for me can sometimes be paralyzing.

I'm trying to pursue more with art and music since those are my passions. I'd like to see how maybe I can combine my care for justice and art/music in the future. I've been having trouble reconciling my artsy side with my "i feel like i have to be well educated and do something "important"..side". I'm still trying to figure it out! I have much to pray about in the next little bit and I'm doing my best to stay sane and just trust God with my overload of questions. Your prayers are eagerly welcomed & appreciated!

thanks for reading....caring....and keeping in touch.
more to come soon!

posted by Amanda @ 4:00 PM